Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
