How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
