Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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