whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
