1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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