in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
