I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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