whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
