Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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