Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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