Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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