Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
