Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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