I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
