3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i dont even know how to be here
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
there is glitter all over my balls
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
