Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You've changed since you got that strap on
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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