Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
