I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize