Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
