did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
