and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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