I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
