It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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