I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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