I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
