just come out here and I will go home with you...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
