my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
