Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
