Well apparently he's into motor boating.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
