ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
