the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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