Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize
