The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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