I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
