She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
