I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
