Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
