She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
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Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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