Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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