no, he came in my armpit
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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