I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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