Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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