I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
