Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
