Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
