Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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