Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
