problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
