Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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