whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
