I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize