I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
