I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
