We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
