KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
