I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just had sex bonerless
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
