I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
