Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
