this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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