I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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