Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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